Wednesday, September 28, 2011

why take 3?

my old name was - Jeans Journey - Take 3?
originally posted 7/7/11

I'm thinking that life happens in 3 stages... childhood, adulthood, and retirement.
I have just hit the last stage - hence the take 3.

Just a warning...I am not a clever person and definitely not a fan of English or proper grammar so beware -- you will enjoy editing my writings. I don't care if you feel bad for my lack of proper grammar. I bet I could beat you in math. Not everyone can count to 100 50 gazillion different ways. (that is how i amuse myself when bored to death).
So I have retired after having spent many years teaching high school math, writing grants and managing educational technologies.... {computers and networks}

I guess retirement is a good thing but I am not sure yet. I have been making a bucket list for the last 6 months or so of all the things I would do as soon as I closed my office door for the last time but now I can't find it....probably left it on my desk!
I will admit that I am a bit worried about how this retirement is going to work. I absolutely love my job...I mean loved it. It was stressful but I thrive on stress and deadlines. That is when I seem to do my best work. People keep congratulating me and wishing me well. I haven't done anything except quit doing what I loved to do.

And, they didn't even replace me!! Figure that one out. Talk about a knife to the heart... or ego. I worked 60 hour weeks doing nothing I guess. For my whole life, every single time I got confident and sassy, something would happen to jerk me around and slap me back to reality.
I guess its fitting that the last stage begin in the same manner. Just one time I wanted to be seen as important and irreplaceable. I know, I'm a dumbass.

So why did I chose to retire? It seemed like a good idea at the time? My husband semi-retired a couple of years ago and wanted me to free up some time for us. I wanted to spend some more time with my mom, take her on a couple of short trips. We were going to do that this summer but she died a couple of months ago. :-( Gosh I really miss her. I feel guilty because I never gave her enough time and now that I have it I don't have her.
My mom... I have lots of stories ...good ones...funny ones...sad ones.... The important thing is that she lives on in all of us...her children and her grandchildren. I will share some stories later...when I have more time.

I am going to close now because I used to teach people HOW to blog and I would always tell them to keep it short. lesson learned.

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